Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Through the Grit can now be read on my facebook notes for all of my 15 followers to enjoy!

The blog has treated me well and I might be back here someday, but for now I will be happily posting on FB.


Monday, March 21, 2011

saying goodbye...

for now.

I have decided to take a break from blogging for a bit. I'll be back...but I am just so busy and have a lot going on and not much to say these days.

If I have something really great to share I will, like these recent pictures of Mugi. She's just the best! She climbed into my laundry bag this morning when she realized it was time for a walk and it was pouring rain.

In the meantime, be happy, healthy and peaceful.


Monday, March 14, 2011

"Giving myself up..."

On Friday afternoon I discovered the most beautiful poem/teaching by Osho:

The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love.
It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not.

It is an existential truth:
only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love,
of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person -
without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other,
without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other.

They allow the other absolute freedom,
because they know that if the other leaves,
they will be as happy as they are now.
Their happiness cannot be taken by the other,
because it is not given by the other.


I fell in love immediately. I shared it with a few people who I thought might appreciate it. I printed it and hung it on my refrigerator. It really spoke to me. It's how I think love should be. The idea of standing alone and being loved and being able to love and being happy independently of the other person.

One of my friends asked me if I knew of Mark Strand. I did not...he couldn't quite remember the poem that it reminded him of, but upon researching him for just a few moments this popped up:

Keeping Things Whole

In a field
I am the absence
of field.
This is
always the case.
Wherever I am
I am what is missing.

When I walk
I part the air
and always
the air moves in
to fill the spaces
where my body's been.

We all have reasons
for moving.
I move
to keep things whole.

-Mark Strand

Amazing...such a sense of freedom and motion in both works...sigh...it's nice to know that the thought of being alone and happy and still being able to have a partner is not a foreign idea to everyone. It's very real and possible and I know that one day I will share a love like that with someone.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I'm sleeping in the kitchen...

Many New Yorkers sleep in their kitchens, living rooms, dining rooms, offices...We have such a limited amount of space. I was listening to this really sweet song by the Drums named, "Make You Mine" and it made me think about how we live and love.

The singer talks about being so confused and distraught that he's eating in his bathroom and sleeping in the kitchen. Maybe this is what's wrong with all of us living on this tiny island, on-top of each other (sometimes in a good way). We just want to love and have it be reciprocated...

I received a message from an old high school friend on OK Cupid yesterday. OKC thought we'd be a good match...very funny...In his note he said that he feels undateable. I totally get that. So many of us feel that way. It's rough out there. Right now I am really so happy to go home and flop on the couch after a night out. I miss having someone to share that with or who is totally inspiring...but I know that right here, in the present...this is real...who knows what the future holds. Happiness is abundant, as is love.

The other thing that I thought of when I heard this song was how nice it must be to have some sort of creative outlet when you feel angsty...I could just imagine this guy running into his crush in a crowded bar...the other guy's arm slung over her shoulder, her looking down, interlacing her fingers with his...and how the man with his unrequited love must have felt...how lucky that he could write some lyrics, pick up a guitar and sing his thoughts. It sure beats some of the other things that we do when we are feeling rejected.

Monday, March 7, 2011

I have a secret...

it's a project that I am working on. I can tell you this...you are loved. It's an experiment of love. I am curious to see what happens.

Here is a project that someone sent to me. www.irinawerning.com/back-to-the-fut/back-to-the-future/ I LOVE it! It is so fun and I kind of want to ring Irina up the next time I am in Buenos Aires and bring a few photos down. How fun!

I love a personal project and when someone is totally passionate about it. I'm not sure if I have something that I am that passionate about. I like lots of things equally. It's kind of a shame...We'll see if my new project blossoms into something that I become obsessed with. That sounds strange, no? Maybe I don't need an obsession, just a hobby.

Attached are a few pictures from some of my most recent projects. One is the restaurant (Greenmarket Tavern) that I curated the photography for. Thank you Mr. Larry Letters...and the other is the lobby of where I work. This has been a project 5 years in the works. I have been begging to do rotating photo shows in the space and all of my pleading paid off...the first show was hung on Friday! Y & DD are mugging for the camera...they poured themselves a glass of red and pretended to be at an opening. Thank you to Jeff Mermelstein and Kyoka Hamada for lending us your amazing photography! It really has changed the space.

If you happen to be near 5th and 20th please check out Greenmarket Tavern. It's pretty tasty and the photography is quite nice, if I do say so myself. A shameless plug, I know...

Friday, March 4, 2011

i adore you...

Yes, yes, I love my dog...nothing much phases her. She doesn't seem to care much about being stuffed into a duffel bag, laying my head on her 10 pound body, holding her paw, putting her ears up and as you can watch being bounced on my knee. It was a slow Friday, don't tell my boss.

Mugi was my office assistant today, as she is on most Fridays. Here is a little video of us having a mother/dogter moment.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

looking back...

And moving forward. I just reread March 3rd from last year. I was so happy with my friends last year at this time. This year, I have been missing them a bit. I was able to catch up with M and A this week...both were long overdue. I also realized that I need to take some more pictures for my shabby ol' blog.

I think that so many of the close people in my life have entered into much more serious relationships in the past year. This is so fun to watch and to be a part of and to welcome their partners into our friend circle.

D and her man moved in together to a fabulous new place in Brooklyn. They met less than a year ago, yet seem so perfect together. They love the others quirks. How lovely is that? It's funny how that happens. Something just clicks into place and suddenly it is a part of your life...not the missing piece, but a piece that just fits perfectly and enhances the entire puzzle...it's nice to think of life as an enormous unfinished puzzle that just grows and grows with each new piece and the focus can shift depending on where each piece is placed-a new focal point can be created.

In therapy yesterday I was talking and talking (shocking, right?) and then somehow I started talking about how happy I am with where I am at. The happiness stems from being content with my surroundings-work, friends, apartment, activities...and then the topic changed to relationships and what I really want...What I really want is to be me-the nurturer and to be with someone who reciprocates that. Not in a co-dependent way, but in an "I believe in you" way and to keep my interests and curiosity peaked and to foster that in someone else. I now know that this exists. Clipped wings are not an option.