it's been a tricky couple of weeks. it's just felt overwhelmingly emotional and charged and like i was being pushed out of my own life...i was having a really hard time finding space for me. my little sister, who keeps up with me via my blog, called and asked if i was okay. i am totally fine. you know when you are playing in the ocean and the tide is high and the waves are rough and you are laughing and smiling but really scared... and just get your footing or get out past that wave; you are so relieved...and you turn around for a split second and an even bigger wave knocks you down or pulls you out? that's how it's been.
there have been moments of great happiness...there have been moments of anger and distress and total freak outs...it's life. i remember talking to my therapist last summer and realizing that you have to have the bad to know just how good the happiness feels. there is happiness in sadness, or some sort of path that you can make or find to it.
i was listening to explosions in the sky on the way to work...and "have you passed through this night?" came on shuffle...yes, it's an excerpt from "the thin red line," but it is really so moving. at one point i thought the narrator said, "is this darkness a view too?" and it really made me think how in your darkest moments there is a beautiful view and that can carry you out of the night. so, after hitting repeat and listening again the actual line is, "is this darkness in you too?" and you can answer that one for yourself...but i am going to continue to ponder the view in the darkness...
okay...so, i think i am getting my groove back. time will tell...last night was such a great craft night. i am so incredibly blessed with my amazing group of friends. they are just such a bright light in my days. and i am wearing my couture fisherman's necklace today. hoorah! more to come...
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