Jungle Love

So here I am on Koh Yao Yoi...It's been a lot of moving around, I can tell you that. Between the cabs, boats, speed boats, subways, planes...wooh...vacation is exhausting.

I checked into my bungalow, which was supposed to be a a beach bungalow...it's really in the jungle...like, way in the jungle. I will admit that I cried when they walked me to it. I know, I am a baby.

For starters, I was disappointed to not be on the beach, then I was scared to be the dead last hut in the joint. I'm a single lady! Then I saw all of the couples and families racing around. That made me a little sad. I eventually got used to it and planted myself on my deck that overlooks, um, jungle...and read for a long while on a bed covered in mosquito netting. It was um, romantic? Then I sent myself off to dinner.

Dinner was nice...It was at the outdoor restaurant lit by flickering candles. I had myself a glass of wine as they cleared Elijah's setting (they left his chair.) I sat and read again and ate and looked around. One of the staff came by to talk...nope...he came to take Elijah's chair. So much for that!

After that I scheduled a massage for the early morning. I was sure I wouldn't sleep. I slept...I then went to my massage and slept some more. I had a light breakfast, trekked back through the jungle and laid down and slept some more. I am just up now and in the "library." There are maybe 100 books and wifi. I am thinking that I will change my boat, car, flight and head back to Bangkok to rock out for an extra night. The jungle is nice and all...but...

I have learned that I am not sure about resorts. This didn't look like a resort...it is...complete with screaming children. It is beautiful though. I will post pics later. I think if there were some other solo travelers it could be really fun.

I am not sure why I had the sudden interest in caps! I hope no one minds.

All in all this is pretty amazing, even the jungle. I am going to go and lay by the salt water pool and read some more...

picture perfect

m and i had a lovely day exploring. i think i got the insiders tour. tomorrow i am off to koh yao yoi on a speedboat! it issupposed to be very chill. i wonder how i will fare for 5 days alone on the beach. i downloaded a few new books to my nook, just in case! i have been loving the crossword app as well. it's a good thing to do when i need a little time to process.

it truly is paradise here. i can't think of another way to describe it. the people are warm, the food is delicious and the scenery is amazing. there is still a lot of that developing country feel, but not in a bad way. in a way that shows promise and hope. the people seem peaceful and not angsty. i think i have much more angst than any of these folks. i am going to work on ridding myself of that and just being.

i am back to thinking about detachment and all that has to offer...the not expecting from others or myself. this seems like a good way to subscribe to life. of course, there are always things that we desire and we want them to turnout a certain way...but in the few days that i have been here i have been able to let go and release myself of many of my own expectations. i still feel the pressure of life...don't get me wrong. there must be a way to manage it though. it's not quest right now...simply something to think about and meditate on.

phuket or bust...

i arrived in bangkok late last night or what it early this morning? i was so nervous about cabbing it to the hotel that i struck up a conversation with my seat-mate on the flight from hk to bangkok. he told me that i could hire a car at the airport. this is considered to be for big spenders...i splurged the thirty bucks so i didn't have to figure out the cab situation. it was so nice that i hired the same car to take me back to the airport this morning.

i had precious few hours to explore the bustling city...so i woke up nice and early, grabbed my free breakfast and hit the road. my first priority was to get a sim card for the phone that m, my neighbor lent me...check...i then went walking. i strolled through lupini park and then i took the metro to a buddhist temple and then strolled some more. i stumbled upon the gay go-go street. this somehow does not surprise me in the least. i wandered a bit more and bought a few yards of silk. i'm pretty sure that i was ripped off...live and learn. i even bargained! the price just seemed too high after all was said and done.

i then popped in a cab and zoomed back to the hotel for check-out and headed to the airport for check-in. i am getting used to this traveling alone thing. there are a few things that are inconvenient...eating at the airport food court i wanted some additional chili vinegar sauce for my rice...i had to grab all of my belongings and haul them up to the counter for a tiny little condiment...i also had an (american) man come up to me and tell me that i was one person sitting at a table for four...or walking through the park and seeing these hilarious work-out machines and people exercizing on them...would have been a funny picture...but you can't take one when you are alone...but it's been rewarding too. i loved ordering my beet passion fruit juice from the little stand or hailing my own cab or figuring out the metro on my own...just problem solving. suddenly that trip to india isn't so daunting.

now i am in phuket with m and his family. a lovely christmas dinner with the swedish jews. the house is so beautiful. i am here for the next two days and then the real solo adventure begins. tomorrow will be an exploration day. more to come...

hello from hong kong!

bloodshot and bleary eyed waiting for the next stop...bangkok! a few minor glitches getting off the ground today. got a cab fairly easily, then it got rear ended on park ave...no damage done...got off at the american terminal out of habit, i was flying on cathay...took the airtrain...c'mon friends...you know i don't do public transport. i really had to resist the urge to hail a cab to the next terminal. this trip is about pushing the limits and stepping outside of my comfort zone, right.

i finally got all checked in and then decided i should make a quick call to the bank to be sure that i could use my atm and credit cards with ease. well, i have too many digits in my pin...so...no, i can't. i will share this story upon my return for those interested.

onto the good stuff...so, i treated myself to first class for the 16 hour flight from nyc-hk. it was all on miles. i'm not a high roller! let me tell you about first class on cathay. i didn't want to leave. 16 hours? blink! 3 movies, 3 amazing meals that included lobster, caviar, sea bass and a hot pot snack...comfy cotton pajamas, unlimited seltzer water and a flat bed with a down comforter. it was insane and i know that economy will never be the same.

now i am sitting in the hk airport waiting for my flight to bangkok. i am a little nervous about arriving in bangkok. okay, a lot nervous!

more to come. it's a little strange being so far from home right now...far from the familiar. i can imagine that my mom is finishing up wrapping my nephew's gifts. my dad is being sent out for a few more things from the grocery store, my little brother is eating a big bowl of cereal on the couch...although, he is a total health nut now...so maybe not. i wonder if they will see a movie tonight, as that has become the tradition on christmas eve.

lots of time to think already. i can't even imagine what the next 17 days have in store.

joy to world!

stop...

but in a good way...

so, this is my last post from this corner of the earth. the next time i write i will be in thailand.

i am so nervous and excited...on my walk to work this morning it was so freezing. "stop" by ryan adams came on and it made me just slow down. i know this song is about substance abuse, but for me it was about just taking a breath and being okay with it. i have such guilt with leaving work, family and friends over the holidays. it's my own addiction to pleasing people. i am taking this time to please myself and to be with myself and maybe meet some new friends along the way.

i'm going try to not feel like i am missing out on what's happening back home.

so, my wish for everyone is that you have enough time to take a deep breath in and have a beautiful exhale and to stop...just stop worrying. it's a big wish, i know.

i called you back...

or did i? at this point i have no idea whose calls i have returned. i am trying to be diligent about this. it upsets me when i reach out to someone and don't hear back. in the long run it is so much easier to type a quick text or email or dial the phone for a brief chat. it makes everyone happier.

when i am on the road as much as i have been it can be so difficult to stay in touch. the days slip by so quickly and are filled with mountains of work. today a morning meeting that was supposed to be an hour turned into 2 hours and then 2 more hours of crafting a shot list and now it's on to planning the meeting for tomorrow.

i'm not complaining that i have so much work. i love it. i love being busy, but i do miss my friends and family. i spent my car ride to the airport sending texts to set up my one weekend home, next weekend, catching up with everyone before i set off for my long holiday.

in the past, when i traveled this often, i would throw an intimate dinner party. it was so nice to have as many people that could attend in the same place. this year has been different. there aren't enough hours in the week. i miss my pals tremendously and hope that 2011 has many days and nights filled with laughter, bottles of wine, long chats, and love. i wish that for everyone.

i love this will oldham song. it makes me think of all those that i love and have loved. if i didn't call you back...i call you back now to a place beside me. it's love...pure love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mQ8Abke6dg

love more

it's been such a busy time...many trips across the country, a holiday, a few trips over the east river, planning like a mad woman for the great escape, my new gig as curator, my other personal project with the tentative release date of february 1! ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!

right now i just have to get through this shoot in la next week. it's one thing at a time. this can be hard for a procrastinating perfectionist like me. it helps to breathe and meditate and set aside one night a week for me, but even that has been difficult to do.

i keep chanting december 23rd, december 23rd...to myself, of course. the thing is that i am nervous as hell! i am so excited to be on that plane and soaring to the other side of the world...but what's over there? i mean, i have been to asia...but not to thailand or indonesia and certainly not alone! it's an adventure for sure and i don't have any expectations at all. one of my friends recently told me that i am not allowed to come home early...i don't think i would, but who knows!

i have begun to have anxiety travel dreams...losing my passport, not having the hotel information, landing in the wrong place...the other night i landed in hope, china and the plane was a car and it drove around the block and there i was in china with j.

soooo...this is what's been going on with this girl. i collapse every night and drift off into crazy dreams and awaken each morning with a to-do list that i couldn't possibly finish. there aren't enough hours these days...soon, so soon, i will be checked out and laying on the lanai of my beach bungalow...but will there be rats like in my dreams?!