i was meant to be free...

the morning started off a little rough...work really got to me. that hasn't happened in a while and i lost it. i truly lost it...and it felt really bad. i turned so far off course, but i realized that i was able to find my way back more easily than i have in the past. luckily, after an egg and a warm cup of tea i gathered myself and made some apologies and moved on. exhale.

sometimes a deep breath isn't going to save you. sometimes you need to lose it to be reminded that the way home is still there. sometimes you just need to feel and not put it in a bubble and blow it away. sometimes the bad stuff can lead to an inhale and a new beginning. it's like a reboot for the soul.

sister, sister!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/26/health/26essay.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=general

dd sent me this today...so true! here are two pics that make me smile. i need more sister time! i love my monkey brother too.

i was feeling a little sluggish and lonely being in another hotel room miles from home. it was nice to be g-chatting with dd and get a facebook message from a. it was a perfect time to be reminded of all of the love in the universe just when i needed it the most.

happy s*#@t

nyquil is my friend

oooh...word to the wise, if your throat is scratchy just stay home. tuesday i woke up not feeling very well...i decided to push through the day...i even met up with j for our sister-sister sushi and a movie date. i dragged myself home and could scarcely breathe. the next morning i wasn't better; i was worse! i called in sick, which i rarely do and drank my way through an entire box of ginger lemon tea. thank goodness for dd holding down the fort back at the ranch!

i only went out to get theraflu and nyquil...the theraflu quieted my death rattle for a bit, but i knew i needed the big guns in order to get any rest. i took a shot of the good stuff and slept like a dream. when i woke up on thursday i swear that i hacked up at least one of my lungs. that stuff doesn't like to settle while you sleep. i took yesterday off as well and hunkered down beneath my pendleton and worked from my blackberry. i even participated (although sadly) in a conference call. last night, another shot of nyquil and today voila! well, almost...the death rattle is still rattling...

thank goodness i see annie tomorrow! a few needles in the face and i am sure i will be nearly 100%. i have to feel better...i have a good friend coming into town tomorrow, brunch on sunday and a few other things that i am looking forward to...we shall see...

so happy it's friday...even if i was only in the office for 3 days this week...all of that coughing and nose blowing was a lot of work!

free the trees...

and free the people to run among the trees! this weekend was spent with old friends and new upstate...so lovely. i have been embracing my zipcar and getting out of town when i can. it ain't cheap, but it 's better than feeling stuck! it's been incredibly freeing.

i think that the city can just run you down. it feels so good to get in the car and just drive! i didn't drive for a long time and now i am loving it again. i'm lucky to have some generous friends with getaway homes. it's on my someday list...i want to be able to leave my lake house or beach house unlocked and just say, "go!" to friends. someday...

on another note...it made me happy to see these city trees getting a little room to breathe. there were workers removing the grates from over the tree roots and replacing them with pavers around the roots. i hope the trees grow taller and stronger .

now it's just time to work, work, work and get outside for lunch...this weather is insane. loving every minute of crispness...taking the long way home for sure.

speak to me gently

last night was craft night. i adore craft night. we took full advantage of j's enormous patio and carved pumpkins! we hadn't been able to get together in what felt like months...it might have only been one month. even that was too long!

we had so much to talk about. j opened a beautiful bottle of red wine and ordered hot wings (chicken and tofu) and we just started gabbing. l is recently engaged and has a new job, little baby b is walking and m, j is training mimi to use the toilet and once he does that i might be taking his apartment, ah just looks fabulous and gave us some southern cooking tips, dd is just as silly as always and i am not bursting into tears anymore! let's raise our glasses to all of these things!

after munching on uncountable wings it was time to roll up our sleeves and carve some pumpkins! m and dd watched and gave creative input when asked...l went crazy and did a double sided jack o' latern, j stayed traditional, ah mimicked her pumpkin face when i told her my most ridiculous dating story to date. it was a doozie and each time i told it the reactions made it worth the experience. i made my little guy very suave and gave him a smoke at l's request...i also spray painted some baby pumpkins and drove half of the group indoors due to the fumes.

craft night has become a haven...a time to sit around with friends, drink wine, eat cupcakes, craft, not craft, and just laugh or cry or talk seriously...it's whatever we want it to be and most of all it is happiness.

burning woman

this morning i was up and doing my regular routine...i was sitting and meditating when my arms and legs started burning...i finished up and popped into the shower and then my face was on fire and then my ears. don't be alarmed...i am allergic or have these weird allergic reactions to, what i believe is, nothing in particular.

the only thing that seems to get the burning and tightness to subside is drinking lots of fluids and remaining calm. i decided to turn on the today show and make some tea. i never turn the tv on in the morning...it wasn't that interesting, but my tea was...

i had 4 cups of ginger lemon yogi tea to try and flush whatever the cause of this reaction was out of my system. i used two tea bags and the little tags on them read, "be so happy that when other look at you they become happy too." i loved that one! i think that relieved some of the burning and the second tag said, "life is a gift. if you do not value your gift, nobody else will." true, right?