to the country

this weekend started off fast and furious with xou drinks. j joined us and that was so lovely. we wandered up to his hood and split moules frites. i should have taken a snap of that. it was the perfect little meal to split and we had such a good conversation.

saturday was spent wandering the the ev with jh...brunch and cupcakes! perfection. saturday night was an early turn-in because dd and i rented a car on sunday with the intention of heading to storm king...well...we kind of saw it. we spent soooo much time in the car laughing that we decided all of the wrong turns were worth it and a few cool little pit-stops along the way.

it's been such a strong two+ months. much of it was spent in tears, crumpled up with my fists balled. i am finally feeling like i am myself again. i know i have said that before on this blog...but, really...consistently for weeks now.

i realized too that recent events did not cause me to fall that far down. i was already so far down and that was just rock bottom. that was the furthest i have ever been from myself. it was scary and painful and i know that i never want to be there again. i just have to also remember the signs that led up to that and what contributed to falling so far away from who i am.

the good thing is that i came through it. there were moments when i wasn't sure if i would. those were the worst. it was terrifying and i am so blessed to have the people that were able to stick by me and those who zoomed in to help. i only hope that i can return the favor one day. i will do my best...i promise to try and love well.