i took a little break from the blog...it wasn't that i haven't been choosing happiness. in fact, i think i have been more so than i had in the past 6 months. i think i just wasn't feeling much like sharing.
today i heard from three friends in three different ways...one was gchat, another was email, and the third was facebook...one friend, who moved to chicago, wrote that she is able to still live in ny through me. it made me think for a moment that maybe my blog isn't just for me...maybe it's not as self-indulgent as i think. that really touched me.
this friend also assured me that my time will come. i know that...i think...maybe i don't and that could be why it's not my time yet. i'm working on it each and every day.
this city is tough and you have to be compassionate and thoughtful even when you want to yell and scream obscenities at the guy who bumped into you or the car that is semi- blocking the crosswalk. ny is full of misunderstood people. we are all going through our own muck...trying to keep our heads above water and sometimes swallowing the saltiness just because it's easier than treading water or just swimming. i would like to think that i am in the treading stage and swimming is not so far behind...also that i am opening my heart a little more each day to other peoples struggles.
just know that you are loved and capable of loving. remind yourself that you can fill your heart with goodness and sometimes you are loving well without even knowing it.
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