breaking-up and breaking down go hand in hand...don't let anyone tell you differently. it's never easy no matter which side of the split you are on. it's okay to feel sad and to cry and to wish things were different and it's also okay to look forward and to do things for yourself.
i went to CT this weekend to be with my family. i just needed to be surrounded by unconditional love and be able to be me...silly, serious, contemplative, weepy, angry, stunned, sad, inquisitive, creative, kind, brash, harsh, compassionate, me...and not make any excuses or apologies for who i am.
my family and friends have all circled around me. my mom made sure i was always busy with something...we went to our favorite greek diner (see waitress above), had manicures and pedicures, went to amazing suburban grocery stores (so many choices), my little brother and i attempted to go to the rock gym (it was closed and i thought i would fail my belay test, it's been 7 years!), my dad taught me to fly cast, my little sister watched footloose with me and talked until the wee hours, we went to home depot and when i suddenly wanted to dip dye everyone embraced it. it was just what i needed.
today i am finishing up work and then heading to the beach for a long week with friends and family. i am so, so blessed to have true friends and such an amazing family. happiness lies within and also deep within our relationships.
it was a hard transition back to the city last night and i was prepared. i called j and he and c had me over for dinner and true blood...i knew sleeping would be tough and i also had a plan...sleep until 7...just until 7 and then hit the gym. i had a little conversation with my endorphins...i told them to kick it up a notch to get the serotonin flowing again. it worked and as long as i have a plan i am going to break right out of this break-up.
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