talking in code...

wow-za! it's been a bit since i have written and i left on such a weird note. i can assure you that all is well. yes, i had a moment of embarrassment that was followed by many moments of happiness.

let's see...dd and i saw horse feathers and sufjan stevens this weekend. amazing! i always forget how good live music is until i am standing there shaking my hips and screaming for more. heads out of the gutter...maybe only mine went there.

what else...i had a nice catch up with j and i saw d as well. we bailed on a show for some delicious sushi. all was well in the world.

i am diligently planning my winter escape. i think i just booked my last hotel! dd and i were talking about it. she was saying how brave i am to be traveling so far from home alone and for so long. you know, if i had it my way, i wouldn't be traveling solo...but i can't let that hold me back. i am officially the only single person in my several groups of friends. it's weird and hard and amazing and crazy and lonely and freeing...it changes day to day.

most days i am so grateful for my independence. i am thankful that i escaped several relationships that weren't right for me or the men invloved...when all i thought i wanted was to love and be loved. i do want both of those things, but in such different ways now. my time will come. in the meantime i am going to start counting down the days to my crazy holiday.

i am surprising myself more and more everyday. in some ways i am shocked that i have gotten this far without bailing. i just have to get on that plane and then another plane and then another...

and just in case you have been missing mugi...this is what much of our weekend looked like. i did make the most amazing beef stew from farmers market ingredients. it was a follow-up to the short ribs from last weekend. i am thinking of roasting a chicken this weekend...it is torture for mugi...that's why she is looking so irritated. don't let her fool you...that dog eats fresh lamb every day of her life!

note to self...

when you are feeling like you shouldn't go to your local bar for an after work cocktail...trust your gut!

last night i didn't have plans. it was the first night in a while that i wasn't scheduled to meet up with friends. i should have just wandered home and picked up something to eat. i thought maybe i would make some short ribs or a nice salad. alas, the bar called my name and i answered enthusiastically.

i thought i would sit and have one drink and head home. then a few neighborhood friends stopped in. one manhattan was chased with three glasses of wine and before you know it i was drunk texting. i am the worst when it comes to this!!! i need a breathalizer on my phone! can someone please invent this. maybe i just need to know my limits or leave the phone at home.

i am usually diligent about monitoring how much i imbibe. i don't drink every night and when i do drink i am aware when i need to stop. i do know that i left that third glass of wine half full. go me! too bad i didn't go right to sleep as i should have.

the rest is history. getting up this morning was not pleasant. needless to say, do not drink and text. this does not make for a happy morning.

light on the hill

sometimes nyc gets me down...i can lose my patience with work, the subway (when i take it), strangers, friends, the guy at the bodega, the woman taking my order for pho...you name it...but this past week nyc was my hope. i was dreaming of being back in my city, of seeing the skyline as we descended from the clouds. ah, to cruise over the water and be 40 minutes from my village!

i haven't had this feeling in quite a while. "new york, i love you but you're bringing me down" was my theme song for a few months. i am so happy to announce, "i love new york!" (for now.) let me be reminded of this post in the dead of winter.

i am actually happy to be back in the office today. i've caught up with dd and mugi joined me today. she's a good little worker. she's been eating lots of treats and receiving belly rubs aplenty! i missed my little beastie last week. we had a nice reunion on saturday evening which lingered into a lovely sunday and several long walks.

so what is happiness? this feeling, a rush, an accomplishment? is it an emotion that slips through our fingers? does it have to be so elusive? i love the idea that we might not be able to accurately identify if we are, in fact, happy...

here is another article on my favorite topic from the nyt...http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/10/06/the-spoils-of-happiness/ interesting...